I just don’t understand it, gravity makes everything head to earth doesn’t it? As I’m ageing gravity seems to be the cause of facial features I’d rather not have taunting me in the mirror. The excess skin on my neck, which appeared from nowhere, is heading towards what would be my mammary gland mantelpiece if I was willing to suffer “uplift bras”. My starvation-prevention-reserves always relocate south and my doctors have scared me with stories about bits which might drop out if I don’t create a cast iron basement.
Why hasn’t the skin on my legs decided to collect in wrinkles around my ankles? Why do my feet look like those of a 17 year old when, unlike my face, they haven’t been nourished by an array of “age defying” creams and serums?
Is that noise I hear Mother Nature chuckling?